THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining
to my husband that my breasts are too small..
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.
If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand
in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
'How long will this take?' I asked.
They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.
I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over
the years?'
Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even
walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals
through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man.
07/26/26
13 hours ago






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