It will look something like this:
09/07/26
3 days ago
Monday, August 29, 2011
House Sighting
Or rather, house siting! Looks like we will be delayed on ground breaking by a few weeks, but we did get the house location finalized today.
It will look something like this:
It will look something like this:
Friday, August 26, 2011
Do ya think we are sisters?
These girls can't possibly be related, can they? ;)
Roxy (4 months)
June (5 months)
Roxy
June
Roxy
June
Roxy
June
Roxy (4 months)
June (5 months)
Roxy
June
Roxy
June
Roxy
June
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Time Outs?
June is constantly testing and pushing. She is so so inquisitive that she is always getting herself into trouble. Her current favorite words are "No" and "Mess"...which just goes to show you what she is up to on a day to day basis.
So Andy and I are trying to figure out the best ways to teach her boundaries without anyone getting hurt and without squashing her wonderful curiousity and adventurous spirit. We had started experimenting with time-outs when she would hit people (usually Roxy) or throw things at people (usually Roxy or Lincoln). But after reading this article have decided against this technique for the time being. We know she is just frustrated about something, so we will try to redirect and address her feelings.
Take a look...
Super interesting article about using time-outs as discipline. Reposted from Positive Parenting; http://www.positive-parents.org/2011/07/time-outs-helpful-or-harmful.html
Here's another one of those controversial, confusing topics that even the experts don't agree on. Some positive parenting experts (Dr. Sears, for one) encourages the use of time-outs, starting at the age of 18 months. Dr. Sears says, and I quote:
This all seems so sensible, but remember, children may not think logically until around age six. If you can't sell your child on time-out, invoke your parental power. Give your child the message that he is going into time-out no matter what, so he might as well do it, get it over with, and get on with the day. For the child over five, add extra time for resistance: "Five extra minutes for protesting," announces the referee. If the child still refuses, pull out your reserves: grounding and withdrawal of privileges (such as TV for the rest of the day or week)—whatever has worked in the past. Give the child a choice: "You can either stay in your room for ten minutes or be bored the rest of the day."
Here's my question. If children may not think logically until around age 6,then why use it on a child under 6 years old? Plus, what are you going to do when it's not so easy to "invoke your parental power," on, say, a 15-year-old, and you have to keep escalating the punishment? I can see where he's going with this...you need to show your kids who's boss. What about attachment, Mr. Attachment Parenting? Not that attached parents can't give time-outs and be attached, they can (I did), but you do have to make a repair because most likely it did cause a disconnect. But I digress. He goes on to make this point:
Time-out gives your older child a chance to reflect on her deed, and it also gives you a chance to cool off and plan a strategy. While your child is in time-out, judge whether the misbehavior is a smallie that's over and done with and needs no further discipline or a biggie that needs more intensive care. If it's a biggie (she hurt another person), after giving her a few minutes to cool off, say something like: "I want you to think about what you did. How would you feel if your friend hurt you?" Some children know intuitively the mental exercises to go through during time-out, but many do not. This is not a time for preaching or haranguing, rather matter-of-factly tell your child how you expect her to spend the time-out period. The most lasting impression is made when the child realizes the consequences of his actions on his own. That's self-discipline.
I can understand how a time-out could give an older child a chance to cool off, but I don't know how much reflecting they're doing. It all depends on the child's termperament, I would think. A more timid or intuitive child may reflect; a strong willed child may stew. On the other hand, it seems to me there would be a more productive way of instilling self-discipline than by imposing parental control, which doesn't so much come from "self," but hey, I'm no doctor. Source.
On the other hand, we have this post, which happens to be one of my favorites and makes some very valid points, like these:
When you separate yourself and your child, you are instantly demonstrating to them that your relationship is not important. When your child is misbehaving is when they need you the most, and your relationship with them is vital. You need to listen and empathize and bring them close to tell them that you still love them, but want to understand what they are feeling. Children will open up very quickly and explain the root cause of their actions when they feel loved, and secure with their parents.
"Demonstrating that your relationship is not important" seems a bit much, doesn't it? I can't really argue with the rest of this one though. It goes on to read:
For children under age 4 to 5 years old, did you know that they don’t understand consequence at all? Their brains simply aren’t yet developed enough to understand cause and effect – so any kind of discipline similar to time-outs is being completely lost of them! Their left and right brains up to the age of 4 to 5 years old are essentially operating independently. They are unable to think logically, and with compassion or empathy. They are almost primarily governed by impulse and emotions and will act selfishly when playing with others. Concepts such as sharing are foreign to them, though they may mimic or parrot this kind of behaviour back to you if driven home repeatedly.
Now that is some food for thought, isn't it? Neuroscience! Hooray!
But wait! Doesn't all that love and empathy reward them for the misbehavior? Can you ever really go wrong with love? What would make you think so? Have you ever messed up? What did you need? Scolding? A lecture? Would that help? Or what about some empathy and understanding? Do teach your child appropriate behavior! Please do! But do it in a way that leaves her dignity intact and your relationship positive. You'll need that close relationship!
Aletha Solter has this to say about time-outs in her article.
Even so, while spanking is on the wane in the United States, the withholding of love and attention has persisted as an acceptable means of control.
She also says:
According to many educators and psychologists, however, time-out is not as innocent as it seems and is, moreover, an emotionally harmful way to discipline children. In fact, the National Association for the Education of Young Children includes the use of time-out in a list of harmful disciplinary measures, along with physical punishment, criticizing, blaming, and shaming.
She drives it home with:
From a child's point of view, time-out is definitely experienced as punishment. Who wants to be isolated from the group and totally ignored? It is quite likely that children view this form of isolation as abandonment and loss of love. And while parents are often careful to provide reassurances of their love and to distinguish between the child and the unruly behavior ("I love you, but you need to go to your room for five minutes because what you did is not acceptable"), their actions speak much louder than their words.
Children under the age of seven simply do not have the capability to process words in the same way that adults do. Concrete experience and perceptions of reality impact more strongly than language. Being isolated and ignored is interpreted as "Nobody wants to be with me right now. Therefore I must be bad and unlovable," and no loving words, however well intended, can override this feeling of rejection.
Nothing is more frightening for a child than the withdrawal of love. Along with the fear come insecurity, anxiety, confusion, anger, resentment, and low self-esteem. Time-out can also cause embarrassment and humiliation, especially when used in the presence of other children. In the child's realm of experience, time-out is nothing short of punitive.
Three views. One states they are needed; one that they are harmful, and one ranks time-outs right up there with spanking and abandonment.
If you've ever used time-outs, raise your hand. *Raises hand* Okay, put them down. I used to do it by the book. If my child hit or did a "biggie" he'd go to time-out for 1 minute per each year of age. I'd explain why and then do the "hugs and kisses" afterwards. Well, I tried. Time-outs were a complete failure here. He didn't want to sit and it was a case of getting up and putting back, getting up and putting back, tears, screaming, my blood pressure rising, and a big ole power struggle, lose-lose situation. I then, however, moved to bedroom time, which we called "rest time" where he went alone to "cool down" and was allowed to play with whatever he wanted to in his room and could come out when he was "ready to be respectful." It worked pretty well, actually.
When I did time-outs, I certainly didn't feel like I was abandoning, isolating, shaming, or withdrawing my love. At least, it didn't feel that way to me. How did it feel to my child, though? I'm not sure. Perhaps like Aletha described?
I don't know that I'm ready to jump on the "isolation and love withdrawal" bandwagon, probably because I'm guilty of using time-outs myself before, but that feels a little extreme to me. Certainly time-outs *can* be extremely harmful if overused in a negative home. It's not always so black and white though, is it? My completely non-professional, not-very-experienced mommy opinion is that an occasional time out for a biggie in an otherwise very loving, positive environment isn't likely to do lasting harm. That's the good news.
The bad news is that it's not likely to do any lasting good either. Given our wonderful neuroscience information and understanding that they don't truly get it, especially under age 6, then it becomes more of a training technique than a teaching technique, doesn't it? That isn't horrible, but it's not really optimal either, when you look at the big picture.
Let's say Sally grabs Jenny's doll. Jenny starts to scream. Mom immediately grabs Sally and puts her in a time-out spot for "not sharing" or "snatching" and sets the time for 3 minutes (because Sally is 3). What is Sally thinking in time-out? Mommy is mean. Mommy is mad at me. I really want that doll. Why should Jenny have the doll? I'm bad. Who knows what Sally is thinking? But she probably isn't thinking "Boy, I wasn't considering Jenny's feelings at all when I took that doll. I was selfish and that was uncalled for. I must apologize to Jenny right now. I see the error of my ways."
Now let's say that Sally grabs Jenny's doll but this time Mom goes over to Sally and says "You really want that doll." (Acknowledging intent) Sally nods. Jenny was playing with that doll, and you took it. Look at Jenny's face. She's crying." (Teaching emotional intelligence) "How can you help Jenny stop being sad?" (You've got her working on problem-solving skills) If she doesn't come up with giving the doll back, and she probably won't, then maybe say, "I think it would make her happy to have her doll back." (Working on developing empathy here) If she doesn't hand it over willingly, say "Would you like to hand it back to her, or shall I?" Either let her hand the doll back (Yay, Sally!) or gently take the doll and give it back to Jenny and apologize for Sally to model a sincere apology. Then redirect Sally to another toy.
Which scenario taught Sally the most?
Of course, there are alternatives to the traditional sit in a chair for x amount of minutes approach. There is the time-in, which is what I now use on occasion. Other variants of time-in include a cuddle corner or cool down spot where parent and child go together. Plus, let's be honest, some kids like or need to be alone to calm down. If they prefer this, fine. The key things to take into consideration are:
1. What is the lesson you want to teach?
2. What is your child's temperament?
3. What is your intent? A positive break from the action (like in a ballgame) or punishment?
FINAL ASSESSMENT: I'm not ready to put time-outs in the "evil" category just yet. I'm going to file them under "unnecessary." Problem-solving, having the child be involved in righting the wrong, is always more a valuable lesson than sitting in a chair.
So Andy and I are trying to figure out the best ways to teach her boundaries without anyone getting hurt and without squashing her wonderful curiousity and adventurous spirit. We had started experimenting with time-outs when she would hit people (usually Roxy) or throw things at people (usually Roxy or Lincoln). But after reading this article have decided against this technique for the time being. We know she is just frustrated about something, so we will try to redirect and address her feelings.
Take a look...
Super interesting article about using time-outs as discipline. Reposted from Positive Parenting; http://www.positive-parents.org/2011/07/time-outs-helpful-or-harmful.html
Here's another one of those controversial, confusing topics that even the experts don't agree on. Some positive parenting experts (Dr. Sears, for one) encourages the use of time-outs, starting at the age of 18 months. Dr. Sears says, and I quote:
This all seems so sensible, but remember, children may not think logically until around age six. If you can't sell your child on time-out, invoke your parental power. Give your child the message that he is going into time-out no matter what, so he might as well do it, get it over with, and get on with the day. For the child over five, add extra time for resistance: "Five extra minutes for protesting," announces the referee. If the child still refuses, pull out your reserves: grounding and withdrawal of privileges (such as TV for the rest of the day or week)—whatever has worked in the past. Give the child a choice: "You can either stay in your room for ten minutes or be bored the rest of the day."
Here's my question. If children may not think logically until around age 6,then why use it on a child under 6 years old? Plus, what are you going to do when it's not so easy to "invoke your parental power," on, say, a 15-year-old, and you have to keep escalating the punishment? I can see where he's going with this...you need to show your kids who's boss. What about attachment, Mr. Attachment Parenting? Not that attached parents can't give time-outs and be attached, they can (I did), but you do have to make a repair because most likely it did cause a disconnect. But I digress. He goes on to make this point:
Time-out gives your older child a chance to reflect on her deed, and it also gives you a chance to cool off and plan a strategy. While your child is in time-out, judge whether the misbehavior is a smallie that's over and done with and needs no further discipline or a biggie that needs more intensive care. If it's a biggie (she hurt another person), after giving her a few minutes to cool off, say something like: "I want you to think about what you did. How would you feel if your friend hurt you?" Some children know intuitively the mental exercises to go through during time-out, but many do not. This is not a time for preaching or haranguing, rather matter-of-factly tell your child how you expect her to spend the time-out period. The most lasting impression is made when the child realizes the consequences of his actions on his own. That's self-discipline.
I can understand how a time-out could give an older child a chance to cool off, but I don't know how much reflecting they're doing. It all depends on the child's termperament, I would think. A more timid or intuitive child may reflect; a strong willed child may stew. On the other hand, it seems to me there would be a more productive way of instilling self-discipline than by imposing parental control, which doesn't so much come from "self," but hey, I'm no doctor. Source.
On the other hand, we have this post, which happens to be one of my favorites and makes some very valid points, like these:
When you separate yourself and your child, you are instantly demonstrating to them that your relationship is not important. When your child is misbehaving is when they need you the most, and your relationship with them is vital. You need to listen and empathize and bring them close to tell them that you still love them, but want to understand what they are feeling. Children will open up very quickly and explain the root cause of their actions when they feel loved, and secure with their parents.
"Demonstrating that your relationship is not important" seems a bit much, doesn't it? I can't really argue with the rest of this one though. It goes on to read:
For children under age 4 to 5 years old, did you know that they don’t understand consequence at all? Their brains simply aren’t yet developed enough to understand cause and effect – so any kind of discipline similar to time-outs is being completely lost of them! Their left and right brains up to the age of 4 to 5 years old are essentially operating independently. They are unable to think logically, and with compassion or empathy. They are almost primarily governed by impulse and emotions and will act selfishly when playing with others. Concepts such as sharing are foreign to them, though they may mimic or parrot this kind of behaviour back to you if driven home repeatedly.
Now that is some food for thought, isn't it? Neuroscience! Hooray!
But wait! Doesn't all that love and empathy reward them for the misbehavior? Can you ever really go wrong with love? What would make you think so? Have you ever messed up? What did you need? Scolding? A lecture? Would that help? Or what about some empathy and understanding? Do teach your child appropriate behavior! Please do! But do it in a way that leaves her dignity intact and your relationship positive. You'll need that close relationship!
Aletha Solter has this to say about time-outs in her article.
Even so, while spanking is on the wane in the United States, the withholding of love and attention has persisted as an acceptable means of control.
She also says:
According to many educators and psychologists, however, time-out is not as innocent as it seems and is, moreover, an emotionally harmful way to discipline children. In fact, the National Association for the Education of Young Children includes the use of time-out in a list of harmful disciplinary measures, along with physical punishment, criticizing, blaming, and shaming.
She drives it home with:
From a child's point of view, time-out is definitely experienced as punishment. Who wants to be isolated from the group and totally ignored? It is quite likely that children view this form of isolation as abandonment and loss of love. And while parents are often careful to provide reassurances of their love and to distinguish between the child and the unruly behavior ("I love you, but you need to go to your room for five minutes because what you did is not acceptable"), their actions speak much louder than their words.
Children under the age of seven simply do not have the capability to process words in the same way that adults do. Concrete experience and perceptions of reality impact more strongly than language. Being isolated and ignored is interpreted as "Nobody wants to be with me right now. Therefore I must be bad and unlovable," and no loving words, however well intended, can override this feeling of rejection.
Nothing is more frightening for a child than the withdrawal of love. Along with the fear come insecurity, anxiety, confusion, anger, resentment, and low self-esteem. Time-out can also cause embarrassment and humiliation, especially when used in the presence of other children. In the child's realm of experience, time-out is nothing short of punitive.
Three views. One states they are needed; one that they are harmful, and one ranks time-outs right up there with spanking and abandonment.
If you've ever used time-outs, raise your hand. *Raises hand* Okay, put them down. I used to do it by the book. If my child hit or did a "biggie" he'd go to time-out for 1 minute per each year of age. I'd explain why and then do the "hugs and kisses" afterwards. Well, I tried. Time-outs were a complete failure here. He didn't want to sit and it was a case of getting up and putting back, getting up and putting back, tears, screaming, my blood pressure rising, and a big ole power struggle, lose-lose situation. I then, however, moved to bedroom time, which we called "rest time" where he went alone to "cool down" and was allowed to play with whatever he wanted to in his room and could come out when he was "ready to be respectful." It worked pretty well, actually.
When I did time-outs, I certainly didn't feel like I was abandoning, isolating, shaming, or withdrawing my love. At least, it didn't feel that way to me. How did it feel to my child, though? I'm not sure. Perhaps like Aletha described?
I don't know that I'm ready to jump on the "isolation and love withdrawal" bandwagon, probably because I'm guilty of using time-outs myself before, but that feels a little extreme to me. Certainly time-outs *can* be extremely harmful if overused in a negative home. It's not always so black and white though, is it? My completely non-professional, not-very-experienced mommy opinion is that an occasional time out for a biggie in an otherwise very loving, positive environment isn't likely to do lasting harm. That's the good news.
The bad news is that it's not likely to do any lasting good either. Given our wonderful neuroscience information and understanding that they don't truly get it, especially under age 6, then it becomes more of a training technique than a teaching technique, doesn't it? That isn't horrible, but it's not really optimal either, when you look at the big picture.
Let's say Sally grabs Jenny's doll. Jenny starts to scream. Mom immediately grabs Sally and puts her in a time-out spot for "not sharing" or "snatching" and sets the time for 3 minutes (because Sally is 3). What is Sally thinking in time-out? Mommy is mean. Mommy is mad at me. I really want that doll. Why should Jenny have the doll? I'm bad. Who knows what Sally is thinking? But she probably isn't thinking "Boy, I wasn't considering Jenny's feelings at all when I took that doll. I was selfish and that was uncalled for. I must apologize to Jenny right now. I see the error of my ways."
Now let's say that Sally grabs Jenny's doll but this time Mom goes over to Sally and says "You really want that doll." (Acknowledging intent) Sally nods. Jenny was playing with that doll, and you took it. Look at Jenny's face. She's crying." (Teaching emotional intelligence) "How can you help Jenny stop being sad?" (You've got her working on problem-solving skills) If she doesn't come up with giving the doll back, and she probably won't, then maybe say, "I think it would make her happy to have her doll back." (Working on developing empathy here) If she doesn't hand it over willingly, say "Would you like to hand it back to her, or shall I?" Either let her hand the doll back (Yay, Sally!) or gently take the doll and give it back to Jenny and apologize for Sally to model a sincere apology. Then redirect Sally to another toy.
Which scenario taught Sally the most?
Of course, there are alternatives to the traditional sit in a chair for x amount of minutes approach. There is the time-in, which is what I now use on occasion. Other variants of time-in include a cuddle corner or cool down spot where parent and child go together. Plus, let's be honest, some kids like or need to be alone to calm down. If they prefer this, fine. The key things to take into consideration are:
1. What is the lesson you want to teach?
2. What is your child's temperament?
3. What is your intent? A positive break from the action (like in a ballgame) or punishment?
FINAL ASSESSMENT: I'm not ready to put time-outs in the "evil" category just yet. I'm going to file them under "unnecessary." Problem-solving, having the child be involved in righting the wrong, is always more a valuable lesson than sitting in a chair.
Its Almost Time!
We will be siting the house on the lot and getting all of the permits approved next week! And hopefully breaking ground very soon afterwards!! Eek! :D
Monday, August 22, 2011
Lincoln's First Day
Today was Lincoln's first day of school. He was pretty cranky about needing to wake up so early. I guess he remained pretty cranky the whole time he was at school too. I asked the teacher how it went, and she said, there were some good times and some bad times, and a lot of whining. He also got very hungry before snacktime, so they had to feed him a little early. I am hoping that he gets used to the new schedule quickly, for the sake of everyone. Because a cranky Lincoln is no fun.
Tomorrow he gets to ride the school bus home!
I tired to take the typical before school picture, but all I got was a cranky Lincoln face. He was not having it. I did manage to capture a not so good candid shot of him with his class after school.
Before school--cranky, tired Lincoln. :(
Lincoln and his teacher Miss Fischer.
Lincoln with his class after school.
After school on the ride home--a little more cheerful now.
Tomorrow he gets to ride the school bus home!
I tired to take the typical before school picture, but all I got was a cranky Lincoln face. He was not having it. I did manage to capture a not so good candid shot of him with his class after school.
Before school--cranky, tired Lincoln. :(
Lincoln and his teacher Miss Fischer.
Lincoln with his class after school.
After school on the ride home--a little more cheerful now.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Bathroom Lights
Wall sconces for the master bathroom.
Wall sconces for the girl's bathroom.
Bar light for Lincoln's bathroom.
Wall sconces for the girl's bathroom.
Bar light for Lincoln's bathroom.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Confessions of an Imperfect Momma
Well. I am not a perfect parent. Not even close. Its true, I am busy, but I am not nearly as busy as I could be if I did all the things a perfect mommy would and should do.
When I imagined being a parent 3 years ago, I knew I wasn't going to be perfect...but I did think I would do it better than I am. Someone is always needing something, and the others are left to wait. Sometimes they all wait while I do what I want to do. I know things that I should be doing to enrich my kids' lives, and I don't always do them. Sometimes I don't even try. Mommy guilt is fun, a constant longing to be able to do more and do it better for the sake of the kids' well-being and happiness.
Here are my wishes.
Wishful Thinking: I spend time every day working with Lincoln on the things that he should be learning.
Reality Check: I rarely do this anymore. I used to do it all of the time when he was a baby. Now, not so much. I hope it isn't beacuse I have given up on him. Maybe it is though. I have seen over an over again that when he has decided to learn something, he does it on his own and in his own time, and he refuses to be forced. We do have our own things we work on; self feeding, stairs, walking and holding hands, but often I just let him wander around the house playing however he sees fit. He is happy, and entertained, so why bother him?
Wishful Thinking: I play with June in constructive toddler activities daily, like reading books, coloring, blocks, puzzles, etc.
Reality Check: I am at a loss as to what to do with these things. She doesn't seem very interested, and I don't know how to teach her these things. Mostly they are messy, and I don't want to add another thing to clean up. I know I should do better, and I am hoping to be able to do some of this stuff while Lincoln is in school.
Wishful Thinking: I don't let my kids watch too much TV.
Reality Check: The TV is on all day long. I try to make myself feel better about it because it is PBS educational programming, but still... Also, we watch the Tinkerbell movie on a daily basis. It give me a little down time while prepping/cooking dinner, and Juney seems to love it.
Wishful Thinking: I keep the house clean & the laundry done.
Reality Check: I am doing much better on this front than I used to. But I still struggle on a daily basis to keep the house baby proof and clean with my whirlwind toddlers running around spreading distruction in their wakes. Somedays I don't even try to keep up, and just let them have at it. They win. Somedays I am tempted to hide all of their toys so they cannot spread them all over the house in less than 20 minutes.
Wishful Thinking: I make healthy lowfat meals for Andy & I every night. And feed June & Lincoln a healthy variety of foods.
Reality Check: I am lucky to get the kids to eat the basics, and I don't want to try any harder than I have to. And Andy is very lucky if there is a meal ready at home when he gets done with work, no matter whether it is healthy or not.
Wishful Thinking: I do something fun out of the house with the kids everyday.
Reality Check: Most days we stay home. It is SOOOOO much work taking all three kids anywhere, so I avoid it whenever possible. The only time we leave the house is when we have to for appointments, meetings, or therapy.
Wishful Thinking: I want to work out everyday during nap time.
Reality Check: By the time naps come around, I just want to sit on the couch and relax (often with a sleeping Roxy in my arms).
Wishful Thinking: I spend time everyday teach Roxy things about the world.
Reality Check: I try to have play time, but I know it isn't as much or as often as I should or could do.
Wishful Thinking: I maintain my patience and calm demeanor all of the time.
Reality Check: I yell at the kids much more often than I want to admit. Lincoln sometimes just cries and cries. I try to comfort, hug, feed him, kiss him, cuddle him, and he just yells louder right in my ear. Sometimes I lose it. Juney is constantly constantly testing me, testing her siblings, and testing herself. How many times each day can you say "No" calmly and be completely ignored. Somedays more, somedays less. I find my patience is very much proportional to my exhaustion. Roxy is the one that gets in trouble at night. She wakes up to eat, falls asleep in my arms, and when I put her down in her crib she is wake again and ready to party. Repeat this several times, and my patience is in tatters.
Wishful Thinking: I have time to do everything I want to in a day.
Reality Check: I probably could, but I am just not organized or motivated enough to accomplish everything everyday.
Wishful Thinking: I brush my kids teeth everyday.
Reality Check: Sometimes I can't find the toothbrush, so I don't. Often I just don't want to deal with it, so I don't. Lincoln already has 2 cavitites. Everytime we go to the dentist I promise myself to do a better job, brushing daily if not after every meal. By the time we head back to the dentist 3 months later, we are no longer brushing everyday (and there might have even been weeks between brushings).
Wishful Thinking: June is weaned from the bottle.
Reality Check: Juney goes to sleep with a bottle a nap & night time. It is the only way I can get her to drink enough milk. It has been this way since she was 4 months old. I know I need to fix this, but I am uncertain how to do it, and honestly, things involving her weight gain and sleeping patterns are really nice right now and I don't want to rock the boat.
Wishful Thinking: That I get enough snuggle lovey time with each of my kids everyday.
Reality Check: This one is impossible to achieve, and yet I will always always want it.
When I imagined being a parent 3 years ago, I knew I wasn't going to be perfect...but I did think I would do it better than I am. Someone is always needing something, and the others are left to wait. Sometimes they all wait while I do what I want to do. I know things that I should be doing to enrich my kids' lives, and I don't always do them. Sometimes I don't even try. Mommy guilt is fun, a constant longing to be able to do more and do it better for the sake of the kids' well-being and happiness.
Here are my wishes.
Wishful Thinking: I spend time every day working with Lincoln on the things that he should be learning.
Reality Check: I rarely do this anymore. I used to do it all of the time when he was a baby. Now, not so much. I hope it isn't beacuse I have given up on him. Maybe it is though. I have seen over an over again that when he has decided to learn something, he does it on his own and in his own time, and he refuses to be forced. We do have our own things we work on; self feeding, stairs, walking and holding hands, but often I just let him wander around the house playing however he sees fit. He is happy, and entertained, so why bother him?
Wishful Thinking: I play with June in constructive toddler activities daily, like reading books, coloring, blocks, puzzles, etc.
Reality Check: I am at a loss as to what to do with these things. She doesn't seem very interested, and I don't know how to teach her these things. Mostly they are messy, and I don't want to add another thing to clean up. I know I should do better, and I am hoping to be able to do some of this stuff while Lincoln is in school.
Wishful Thinking: I don't let my kids watch too much TV.
Reality Check: The TV is on all day long. I try to make myself feel better about it because it is PBS educational programming, but still... Also, we watch the Tinkerbell movie on a daily basis. It give me a little down time while prepping/cooking dinner, and Juney seems to love it.
Wishful Thinking: I keep the house clean & the laundry done.
Reality Check: I am doing much better on this front than I used to. But I still struggle on a daily basis to keep the house baby proof and clean with my whirlwind toddlers running around spreading distruction in their wakes. Somedays I don't even try to keep up, and just let them have at it. They win. Somedays I am tempted to hide all of their toys so they cannot spread them all over the house in less than 20 minutes.
Wishful Thinking: I make healthy lowfat meals for Andy & I every night. And feed June & Lincoln a healthy variety of foods.
Reality Check: I am lucky to get the kids to eat the basics, and I don't want to try any harder than I have to. And Andy is very lucky if there is a meal ready at home when he gets done with work, no matter whether it is healthy or not.
Wishful Thinking: I do something fun out of the house with the kids everyday.
Reality Check: Most days we stay home. It is SOOOOO much work taking all three kids anywhere, so I avoid it whenever possible. The only time we leave the house is when we have to for appointments, meetings, or therapy.
Wishful Thinking: I want to work out everyday during nap time.
Reality Check: By the time naps come around, I just want to sit on the couch and relax (often with a sleeping Roxy in my arms).
Wishful Thinking: I spend time everyday teach Roxy things about the world.
Reality Check: I try to have play time, but I know it isn't as much or as often as I should or could do.
Wishful Thinking: I maintain my patience and calm demeanor all of the time.
Reality Check: I yell at the kids much more often than I want to admit. Lincoln sometimes just cries and cries. I try to comfort, hug, feed him, kiss him, cuddle him, and he just yells louder right in my ear. Sometimes I lose it. Juney is constantly constantly testing me, testing her siblings, and testing herself. How many times each day can you say "No" calmly and be completely ignored. Somedays more, somedays less. I find my patience is very much proportional to my exhaustion. Roxy is the one that gets in trouble at night. She wakes up to eat, falls asleep in my arms, and when I put her down in her crib she is wake again and ready to party. Repeat this several times, and my patience is in tatters.
Wishful Thinking: I have time to do everything I want to in a day.
Reality Check: I probably could, but I am just not organized or motivated enough to accomplish everything everyday.
Wishful Thinking: I brush my kids teeth everyday.
Reality Check: Sometimes I can't find the toothbrush, so I don't. Often I just don't want to deal with it, so I don't. Lincoln already has 2 cavitites. Everytime we go to the dentist I promise myself to do a better job, brushing daily if not after every meal. By the time we head back to the dentist 3 months later, we are no longer brushing everyday (and there might have even been weeks between brushings).
Wishful Thinking: June is weaned from the bottle.
Reality Check: Juney goes to sleep with a bottle a nap & night time. It is the only way I can get her to drink enough milk. It has been this way since she was 4 months old. I know I need to fix this, but I am uncertain how to do it, and honestly, things involving her weight gain and sleeping patterns are really nice right now and I don't want to rock the boat.
Wishful Thinking: That I get enough snuggle lovey time with each of my kids everyday.
Reality Check: This one is impossible to achieve, and yet I will always always want it.
Our Pendants
As you can tell, I am on a lighting kick right now.
After much research it turns out that you can spend as much money as you have on pendant lights. There are some absolutely beautiful lights out there! We decided that we could be very happy with something a little less expensive, but still beautiful!
Our pendant lights for the new house are these...
There will be 4 across the kitchen island in a straight line. We purchased them from Overstock.com for $30/each! Pretty good deal!
After much research it turns out that you can spend as much money as you have on pendant lights. There are some absolutely beautiful lights out there! We decided that we could be very happy with something a little less expensive, but still beautiful!
Our pendant lights for the new house are these...
There will be 4 across the kitchen island in a straight line. We purchased them from Overstock.com for $30/each! Pretty good deal!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Registered Lincoln for School
So today I registered Lincoln for school. It was a bit of a disaster because it was hot, crowded, unorgnaized, and took much longer than I thought. The girls were both melting down by the end.
The school was so old that our double stroller wouldn't fit through some of the doorways -- which means that a wheelchair would not fit either. Hmm...I wonder if they are ADA compliant?
As I said before the school is in a not so nice neighborhood and pulls from a lower income district of town. When I was there I think I was the only Caucasian mommy around. Oh well. It seemed that everyone was speaking English as their primary language at least, so that was good. And Lincoln's teacher Miss Marcia Fischer was very very nice, as was the principal, Julie McIntyre.
I was interested to learn that there will only be 5 students in Lincoln's class when he starts on August 22nd, with 2 aides and a teacher, as well as therapists coming in and out of the classroom throughout the week. So that will be awesome for him to get so much focused attention. They will continue to add students, up to 10 total, throughout the year as other kiddos turn 3 years old and transition to the school district.
I am pretty nervous about all of this. I know it will be so good for him, but in some ways I am sad to see him headed off to school. It seems like he was just a baby yesterday. I can't believe that he is 3 years old and starting to school already!
The school was so old that our double stroller wouldn't fit through some of the doorways -- which means that a wheelchair would not fit either. Hmm...I wonder if they are ADA compliant?
As I said before the school is in a not so nice neighborhood and pulls from a lower income district of town. When I was there I think I was the only Caucasian mommy around. Oh well. It seemed that everyone was speaking English as their primary language at least, so that was good. And Lincoln's teacher Miss Marcia Fischer was very very nice, as was the principal, Julie McIntyre.
I was interested to learn that there will only be 5 students in Lincoln's class when he starts on August 22nd, with 2 aides and a teacher, as well as therapists coming in and out of the classroom throughout the week. So that will be awesome for him to get so much focused attention. They will continue to add students, up to 10 total, throughout the year as other kiddos turn 3 years old and transition to the school district.
I am pretty nervous about all of this. I know it will be so good for him, but in some ways I am sad to see him headed off to school. It seems like he was just a baby yesterday. I can't believe that he is 3 years old and starting to school already!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Picture Post; Mid-July through Mid-August
Some more summertime pictures of my cuties! Enjoy!
Lincoln built himself a nest of blankets & stuffed animals to sleep in.
They were thrilled, as you can tell.
June and her bubbles. She loves these things!!
Argh! I'm pirate baby!
Cute picture, right? Moments after this June got reminded to not step on the baby. She hears this several times a day.
Roxy likes to sleep with her arm up over her head like this.
Kisses for the baby. :)
June loves sitting in the baby seat. It is like a recliner/hammock for toddlers. :)
Lincoln built himself a nest of blankets & stuffed animals to sleep in.
They were thrilled, as you can tell.
June and her bubbles. She loves these things!!
Argh! I'm pirate baby!
Cute picture, right? Moments after this June got reminded to not step on the baby. She hears this several times a day.
Roxy likes to sleep with her arm up over her head like this.
Kisses for the baby. :)
June loves sitting in the baby seat. It is like a recliner/hammock for toddlers. :)
Friday, August 5, 2011
The Kids at Four Months Old
All three kids at four months old.
Lincoln. 20lbs 8oz, 27 inches.
June. She was 14lbs 14oz, 25 inches.
Roxy. She is 16lbs 10oz, 26.25 inches.
Lincoln. 20lbs 8oz, 27 inches.
June. She was 14lbs 14oz, 25 inches.
Roxy. She is 16lbs 10oz, 26.25 inches.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Roxy is 4 months old!
Another month has passed, and our littlest baby is now 4 months old! She is 16lbs 10oz, and 26.25". She is getting so strong, and becoming quite curious about her surroundings. She spends most of her awake time being fascinated and entertained by her older siblings. I have a feeling that Roxy is gonna be in the thick of their play as soon as she can manage it. She rolls from belly to back frequently, but seems to prefer time spent on her belly now so that she can survey her surroundings. She can rotate in circles while on her tummy. She also is starting to push up higher on her forearms and hands, as well as pulling her legs in to try getting her knees under her body. She really is growing and changing quickly now, and before we know it she is gonna be mobile and getting herself into all kinds of trouble.
She has definitely hit the 4 month wakeful period. We are currently in a battle of wills over where she is going to sleep. She prefers sleeping on me, but I am trying to train her to prefer her crib, so that I can get stuff done during nap time. I know who is gonna win this battle...it is just taking some time to convince Roxy of that fact. ;)
Roxy likes to talk, and she can be quite loud about it. She can compete quite well with her siblings, even when they are at their most noisy. It is pretty funny when they all get going, but can also drive me a little crazy too.
A video of Roxy "talking" on Lincoln's birthday. She is even more verbose now!
New Fans
Well, we shopped some internet sales, and bought 8 budget fans for a total of $480 including taxes! Pretty good deal if I do say so myself!!
Two outdoor fans, $78 each.
Six bedroom fans, $50 each.
We still have three more fans to buy for the main rooms, but we weren't certain on the style so we decided to wait. But these other deals were just too good to pass up. Cool, huh? Now we just need to find a place to store them until our house is built...
Two outdoor fans, $78 each.
Six bedroom fans, $50 each.
We still have three more fans to buy for the main rooms, but we weren't certain on the style so we decided to wait. But these other deals were just too good to pass up. Cool, huh? Now we just need to find a place to store them until our house is built...
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