Confessions of an Imperfect Momma

Well. I am not a perfect parent. Not even close. Its true, I am busy, but I am not nearly as busy as I could be if I did all the things a perfect mommy would and should do.

When I imagined being a parent 3 years ago, I knew I wasn't going to be perfect...but I did think I would do it better than I am. Someone is always needing something, and the others are left to wait. Sometimes they all wait while I do what I want to do. I know things that I should be doing to enrich my kids' lives, and I don't always do them. Sometimes I don't even try. Mommy guilt is fun, a constant longing to be able to do more and do it better for the sake of the kids' well-being and happiness.

Here are my wishes.

Wishful Thinking: I spend time every day working with Lincoln on the things that he should be learning.

Reality Check: I rarely do this anymore. I used to do it all of the time when he was a baby. Now, not so much. I hope it isn't beacuse I have given up on him. Maybe it is though. I have seen over an over again that when he has decided to learn something, he does it on his own and in his own time, and he refuses to be forced. We do have our own things we work on; self feeding, stairs, walking and holding hands, but often I just let him wander around the house playing however he sees fit. He is happy, and entertained, so why bother him?


Wishful Thinking: I play with June in constructive toddler activities daily, like reading books, coloring, blocks, puzzles, etc.

Reality Check: I am at a loss as to what to do with these things. She doesn't seem very interested, and I don't know how to teach her these things. Mostly they are messy, and I don't want to add another thing to clean up. I know I should do better, and I am hoping to be able to do some of this stuff while Lincoln is in school.


Wishful Thinking: I don't let my kids watch too much TV.

Reality Check: The TV is on all day long. I try to make myself feel better about it because it is PBS educational programming, but still... Also, we watch the Tinkerbell movie on a daily basis. It give me a little down time while prepping/cooking dinner, and Juney seems to love it.


Wishful Thinking: I keep the house clean & the laundry done.

Reality Check: I am doing much better on this front than I used to. But I still struggle on a daily basis to keep the house baby proof and clean with my whirlwind toddlers running around spreading distruction in their wakes. Somedays I don't even try to keep up, and just let them have at it. They win. Somedays I am tempted to hide all of their toys so they cannot spread them all over the house in less than 20 minutes.


Wishful Thinking: I make healthy lowfat meals for Andy & I every night. And feed June & Lincoln a healthy variety of foods.

Reality Check: I am lucky to get the kids to eat the basics, and I don't want to try any harder than I have to. And Andy is very lucky if there is a meal ready at home when he gets done with work, no matter whether it is healthy or not.


Wishful Thinking: I do something fun out of the house with the kids everyday.

Reality Check: Most days we stay home. It is SOOOOO much work taking all three kids anywhere, so I avoid it whenever possible. The only time we leave the house is when we have to for appointments, meetings, or therapy.


Wishful Thinking: I want to work out everyday during nap time.

Reality Check: By the time naps come around, I just want to sit on the couch and relax (often with a sleeping Roxy in my arms).


Wishful Thinking: I spend time everyday teach Roxy things about the world.

Reality Check: I try to have play time, but I know it isn't as much or as often as I should or could do.


Wishful Thinking: I maintain my patience and calm demeanor all of the time.

Reality Check: I yell at the kids much more often than I want to admit. Lincoln sometimes just cries and cries. I try to comfort, hug, feed him, kiss him, cuddle him, and he just yells louder right in my ear. Sometimes I lose it. Juney is constantly constantly testing me, testing her siblings, and testing herself. How many times each day can you say "No" calmly and be completely ignored. Somedays more, somedays less. I find my patience is very much proportional to my exhaustion. Roxy is the one that gets in trouble at night. She wakes up to eat, falls asleep in my arms, and when I put her down in her crib she is wake again and ready to party. Repeat this several times, and my patience is in tatters.


Wishful Thinking: I have time to do everything I want to in a day.

Reality Check: I probably could, but I am just not organized or motivated enough to accomplish everything everyday.


Wishful Thinking: I brush my kids teeth everyday.

Reality Check: Sometimes I can't find the toothbrush, so I don't. Often I just don't want to deal with it, so I don't. Lincoln already has 2 cavitites. Everytime we go to the dentist I promise myself to do a better job, brushing daily if not after every meal. By the time we head back to the dentist 3 months later, we are no longer brushing everyday (and there might have even been weeks between brushings).


Wishful Thinking: June is weaned from the bottle.

Reality Check: Juney goes to sleep with a bottle a nap & night time. It is the only way I can get her to drink enough milk. It has been this way since she was 4 months old. I know I need to fix this, but I am uncertain how to do it, and honestly, things involving her weight gain and sleeping patterns are really nice right now and I don't want to rock the boat.

Wishful Thinking: That I get enough snuggle lovey time with each of my kids everyday.

Reality Check: This one is impossible to achieve, and yet I will always always want it.

Our Pendants

As you can tell, I am on a lighting kick right now.

After much research it turns out that you can spend as much money as you have on pendant lights. There are some absolutely beautiful lights out there! We decided that we could be very happy with something a little less expensive, but still beautiful!

Our pendant lights for the new house are these...


There will be 4 across the kitchen island in a straight line. We purchased them from Overstock.com for $30/each! Pretty good deal!

Registered Lincoln for School

So today I registered Lincoln for school. It was a bit of a disaster because it was hot, crowded, unorgnaized, and took much longer than I thought. The girls were both melting down by the end.

The school was so old that our double stroller wouldn't fit through some of the doorways -- which means that a wheelchair would not fit either. Hmm...I wonder if they are ADA compliant?

As I said before the school is in a not so nice neighborhood and pulls from a lower income district of town. When I was there I think I was the only Caucasian mommy around. Oh well. It seemed that everyone was speaking English as their primary language at least, so that was good. And Lincoln's teacher Miss Marcia Fischer was very very nice, as was the principal, Julie McIntyre.

I was interested to learn that there will only be 5 students in Lincoln's class when he starts on August 22nd, with 2 aides and a teacher, as well as therapists coming in and out of the classroom throughout the week. So that will be awesome for him to get so much focused attention. They will continue to add students, up to 10 total, throughout the year as other kiddos turn 3 years old and transition to the school district.

I am pretty nervous about all of this. I know it will be so good for him, but in some ways I am sad to see him headed off to school. It seems like he was just a baby yesterday. I can't believe that he is 3 years old and starting to school already!

Picture Post; Mid-July through Mid-August

Some more summertime pictures of my cuties! Enjoy!


Lincoln built himself a nest of blankets & stuffed animals to sleep in.


They were thrilled, as you can tell.






June and her bubbles. She loves these things!!






Argh! I'm pirate baby!






Cute picture, right? Moments after this June got reminded to not step on the baby. She hears this several times a day.




Roxy likes to sleep with her arm up over her head like this.








Kisses for the baby. :)






June loves sitting in the baby seat. It is like a recliner/hammock for toddlers. :)

The Kids at Four Months Old

All three kids at four months old.


Lincoln. 20lbs 8oz, 27 inches.


June. She was 14lbs 14oz, 25 inches.


Roxy. She is 16lbs 10oz, 26.25 inches.

Roxy is 4 months old!

Another month has passed, and our littlest baby is now 4 months old! She is 16lbs 10oz, and 26.25". She is getting so strong, and becoming quite curious about her surroundings. She spends most of her awake time being fascinated and entertained by her older siblings. I have a feeling that Roxy is gonna be in the thick of their play as soon as she can manage it. She rolls from belly to back frequently, but seems to prefer time spent on her belly now so that she can survey her surroundings. She can rotate in circles while on her tummy. She also is starting to push up higher on her forearms and hands, as well as pulling her legs in to try getting her knees under her body. She really is growing and changing quickly now, and before we know it she is gonna be mobile and getting herself into all kinds of trouble.

She has definitely hit the 4 month wakeful period. We are currently in a battle of wills over where she is going to sleep. She prefers sleeping on me, but I am trying to train her to prefer her crib, so that I can get stuff done during nap time. I know who is gonna win this battle...it is just taking some time to convince Roxy of that fact. ;)

Roxy likes to talk, and she can be quite loud about it. She can compete quite well with her siblings, even when they are at their most noisy. It is pretty funny when they all get going, but can also drive me a little crazy too.

A video of Roxy "talking" on Lincoln's birthday. She is even more verbose now!

New Fans

Well, we shopped some internet sales, and bought 8 budget fans for a total of $480 including taxes! Pretty good deal if I do say so myself!!


Two outdoor fans, $78 each.


Six bedroom fans, $50 each.

We still have three more fans to buy for the main rooms, but we weren't certain on the style so we decided to wait. But these other deals were just too good to pass up. Cool, huh? Now we just need to find a place to store them until our house is built...