I hate Labor Day.

It is the worst holiday ever in my opinion. For as long as I can remember, Labor Day symbolized the end of summer and the return of school. We would often go to the Oregon State Fair on Labor Day because it was 1/2 price day. It was 1/2 price because it was the last day of the fair, and many of the displays were looking pretty darn forlorn after being up 2-2.5 weeks. This was how Labor Day made me feel. Forlorn and perhaps depressed even.

For a brief time during college, Labor Day meant nothing to me, since school didn't start until the end of September. I will always look back on those few Labor Day's with fondness. Now I face Labor Day with much less than fondness, and much more than depression. I would describe my feelings as fear and trepidation...

Two years ago, the day after Labor Day, 9/4/07, we went to our 18 week appointment with the midwives, and they could not find the heartbeat. They sent us for an ultrasound the following day, 9/5/07, where it was confirmed that our baby had passed away. On 9/7/07, I had a D&C surgical procedure to remove our baby and get genetic testing done. On 9/17/07 I had my surgical follow up appointment. Nothing of note happened that day, except it is just another date that is stuck in my mind regarding the miscarriage. Genetic testing came back telling us that the baby was a boy and that it had a ringed 18th chromosome which caused his death. At that point in time, I had thought that the overnight wait for the confirmation ultrasound from 9/4/07-9/5/07 was the worst night of my life. Little did I know what the following year would bring...

Last year, the Friday before Labor Day weekend, on 8/28/08, we got confirmation that our little 5 week old baby Lincoln was having seizures. On 9/15/08 we went to the hospital for an overnight EEG to determine if these seizures were Infantile Spasms. That night is now on record as the worst night of my life. On 9/16/08 we were told that he was having Infantile Spasms, and that these are very very serious form of seizure. On 9/17/08 we had his first MRI which gave us the diagnosis of Tuberous Sclerosis, and changed our lives forever.

This Thursday, 8/27/09, we will be doing Linc's cardiac Holter monitor study. We will be getting the results of this study around 9/17/09. Also, the day after Labor Day, on 9/8/09, we will be doing the CVS test on the new baby. This test carries a risk of infection and miscarriage, as well as the results of this test having a huge impact on how we proceed from here on out. We will be getting these results around 9/17/09 as well. It seems as if we are just asking for history to repeat itself with the timing of these significant and life altering tests, huh?

I am working hard to control my nervousness and superstition. Afterall, these are just days, and they have no more power or meaning than any othe days, right? I am hoping with all of my might, that history does not repeat itself, and Labor Day does not continue to provide us with bad news and life changing events. Please, please, please...let this year break the trend. I will never love Labor Day, but if all of the testing comes back good with no complications, then maybe I won't dread it quite so much next year.